I'm leaving shortly for my office holiday party. I've read a few articles about this awkward, cultural phenomenon and have compiled my own Top 10 list of things not to do at office holiday parties. Take notes.
- Do not skip it. You can't kiss ass if you're not there.
- Do not underdress. I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Whoops.
- Do not be a wallflower or stick with one group of people. Clicks are so high school.
- Do not make suprising announcements, like "I'm quitting" or "I'm an ex-convict."
- Do not tell the same story over and over. It's an easy trap to fall into when you're making small-talk, but it can also be embarrassing when you tell someone the same story twice on the same day.
- Do not forget to socialize with your boss.
- Do not forget about the non-Christian holidays. Wear a Santa hat and hold a menorah.
- Do not make out with co-workers -- until after the party.
- Do not get shitfaced drunk. Just get regular-Friday-night drunk.
- Do not listen to rule #9. Go ahead and get shitfaced drunk.