Dear Eliza, 121 Months Old

This past weekend, we may have watched your final days playing on an organized soccer team.

You played a few years ago on a small-sided team, and we were a little surprised earlier this year when you said you wanted to try again — likely inspired by some of your school friends.

But the early excitement didn’t last long. Most of this season has been an on-and-off battle to get you onto the field. You seem to enjoy the practices, but the games… not so much. I remember one game where you were so upset to be there that I had to walk you all the way to your coaches, practically dragging you onto the field. Neither of us was very happy that day.

Mom and I never want to force you into activities you don’t enjoy, but we do want you to finish what you start — especially for your teammates’ sake. You’ve told us that the coaches and games feel a little too intense, and I get that. Sometimes soccer takes itself a bit too seriously, especially for a group of 10-year-olds.

Heading into the last game of the season, you weren’t thrilled about waking up early on a Saturday to play, but we went anyway — and it turned out your team only had nine players, with no subs. It seems we weren’t the only family with waning enthusiasm this late in the season.

With no choice but to play, you ended up having one of your best games yet. You had tons of touches in the first half. Even though you’re one of the smaller players, you’re also one of the fastest, and you put your head down and chased down loose balls again and again. The other team had what felt like an entire second squad of subs, and the fresh legs wore your team out. Down 4–0 at halftime, you moved into goalkeeper — a position you’ve been good at.

Sure enough, they kept coming at you. And you made some great saves, attacking the ball with instinct and zero hesitation. I was so impressed, and the parents on the sideline were too. A few more shots got past you, but none of that mattered. Your effort was unmistakable.

After the game, I half-expected you to be upset about the score, but instead you were in great spirits — maybe proud of your performance, maybe relieved the season was over. Either way, I’ll take the smiles.

And just when we thought soccer was behind us, you went to a birthday party that evening at the new PenMet indoor soccer center — where Mom and I play our adult league games. You ran around with your friends, played even more soccer, and had even more fun in that relaxed setting. Then the next day we were back there again for our games, and you and Matteo spent halftime playing on the field. It was easily the most soccer you’ve ever played in a single weekend. I saw real flashes of skill and joy — the whole point of sports in the first place.

As you know, I grew up playing a lot of soccer, and I genuinely love the game. It’s been wonderful to be back on the field with Mom and our community of friends, staying active and sharing a little competition. I also love that you and Matteo get to see us out there at our “older” age. I want both of you to stay active well into adulthood. It’s good for your body and mind, and it feeds your spirit — knowing you can run, compete, and connect with teammates, friends, and even new people you meet on the field.

While I imagine soccer may wind down for you in the coming months or years — with dance and skiing taking center stage — I have a sneaky suspicion you’ll find your way back to a soccer field now and then. Maybe even on a team again someday. You have too much natural athleticism, and there will always be people to play with.

Just make sure you’re having fun.

Love,
Dad

Dear Matteo, 100 Months Old

We finally made it back to Indiana. After spending the past year trying to get your Popa Roger to visit—and canceling his flights multiple times due to ongoing health issues—we decided to make the trip ourselves using buddy passes from Grandma Vicki and Aunt Courtney. We can’t blame Popa; he’s been dealing with eye, neck, leg… pretty much everything issues. It’s a lot easier for our younger, able bodies to travel anyway.

A highlight of the trip was visiting your cousins Abby and Mason at Ball State on our way to Fort Wayne. There’s nothing quite like a college house anywhere in America—used furniture, sparse but meaningful décor, and bohemian vibes. Abby’s place checked all those boxes, and it made me nostalgic for that phase of life and truly happy that Abby and Mason get to experience it. I also admire how close they are as adult siblings—and hope you and Eliza are taking note.

We hadn’t been back to Fort Wayne since Grammie’s funeral, and a lot changes every time we visit. The areas outside of Leo, especially DuPont, are growing fast with new homes and businesses popping up everywhere. Your mom always finds a beautiful house for sale on a road she loves—at a ridiculously low price, thanks to the cost of living there.

What’s really changed, though, is Popa’s lifestyle. He bought a great newer home in a 55+ community and is selling the family home your mom grew up in. That’s a big deal—it’s been in the family since the early 1980s. The house itself isn’t in great shape, to be honest. Popa had a crew working on the foundation and fumigating (getting rid of pests). The main reason for our trip was to help him clean out the house and make sure your mom could keep the belongings that meant the most to her.

This was also the first trip where we had to stay at a hotel, since work was being done on the family home. We stayed at a SpringHill Suites that gave us plenty of space and a good place to crash between long days of sorting through closets, boxes, photos, and documents. You, meanwhile, enjoyed all the screen time in the world.

We spent time with Popa’s friend Patty, who your mom knew growing up through her daughter. Patty has been incredibly kind, helping keep an eye on Popa and managing his health issues in recent months. We also made it to a few parks and visited friends. You really hit it off with Creed when we saw the Reynolds family, who we have such a special bond with—especially because of how close your mom is with Daisha. Distance can’t come between true friendships; it just makes you appreciate the time you get together. I know your mom really misses Daisha.

This trip was emotional for us. Going through decades of memories reminded us how much love filled that home and how much Grammie cared for all of us. She was an impressive archivist and a prolific photographer. She had backup CDs of print photos and boxes labeled by person, place, or event. There are also plenty of genealogy records we didn’t have time to go through—but I’m glad we have that family history preserved. By the time we left, your mom and I felt good about what we kept and what we let go of. We brought home a box of photos and a few small keepsakes.

Getting home took longer than planned. After sitting at the gate for a few hours, Alaska Airlines canceled our flight due to IT issues, and we spent an extra night at an airport hotel. I don’t think I’ve ever spent a full week in Indiana—even when your mom and I got married there. We made the most of it, though, adding a visit to the Indianapolis Zoo on a beautiful October day while it poured rain back home. Instead of a canceled flight, it felt like we were given a bonus day—maybe a little gift from Grammie.

Love,
Dad

Dear Eliza, 120 Months Old

You are 10 years old! Double digits! We have talked about approaching this milestone, and you've said you didn't want to grow up that fast. I can understand why. Being a kid is fun, and I'm glad you are enjoying this time so much that you don't want it to change.

I can relate. In a lot of ways, I don't want to get any older either or change the enjoyable moment we're in—but it's been a series of changes that made this era of time so fun, and you have to believe that there are more good times ahead—different but good—with a little change along the way. For example, you love styling your look and had that era of sticker earrings, but look at how much more fun you're having shopping for and making earrings for your pierced ears.

There have been plenty of moments where your mom and I were unsure about change or the next phase. We weren't entirely sure we were ready for kids. I bet you're glad about the result of that decision! We weren't sure we wanted to sell the Tacoma house. Some days, Mom isn't sure if we should homeschool you and Matteo. Ha! You can ask her about that later.

Of course, at my age, getting older is tied to getting a little physically slower, so that's not fun. For you, it's the opposite—as you near your tweens, your body and mind are just getting more capable. That's something to look forward to.

Speaking of changes, in past years we celebrated your birthday via an Oktoberfest party for all ages. This year, you wanted to focus your party attendees and theme on a “K-pop Demon Hunters” idea that, I admit, is tough to pair with Bavarian culture. The party is yet to come because we're making an Indiana trip, but I'm sure it will be a big hit. I can consume my pretzel and sausage another time. What I care about most is that you feel celebrated and excited for what's ahead in these double-digit ages.

You've asked if you're a tween yet because you're excited by the idea of being seen and identified as not just being a kid, and we decided that you have another year or two. According to other parents just ahead of us, the tweens are filled with big emotions that we've seen signs of. I'm not rushing into that!

But I am excited for what's coming. You're funny, creative, thoughtful, and strong. You care deeply about your friends, your art, and our family. You make our lives brighter every single day. Whether you're still in the “kid” stage or inching into your tween years, I hope you know how proud I am of the person you are right now—and how much I believe in the person you're becoming.

So here’s to 10: the start of something new, the middle of something wonderful, and another chance for all of us to keep growing together.

Love,
Dad

Dear Matteo, 99 Months Old

“Winnie the Pooh, willy, nilly, silly old bear…”

Congratulations on reaching opening night of Winnie the Pooh KIDS, performed by Artondale Elementary students — including you and Eliza! I bet the songs from your first musical will live rent-free in your head for the rest of your life.

This musical was one of your mom’s big ideas coming into her first year as PTA president. She’s been focused on bringing more programming and enrichment opportunities to students. It’s been incredible to see her vision come to life — and pay off — in front of a full audience and a stage full of bright lights and brave kids.

Now, let’s talk about your specific role: Piglet. You weren’t exactly thrilled when you got the part after tryouts. Piglet’s shy, and that’s not how most people would describe you. The pink costume also wasn’t a big selling point — though we worked around that with a pink Messi jersey (luckily in style) and some fashionable pink sweatpants. Eliza received the role of the rainbow color “Blue,” and she was even less excited, frustrated to have fewer lines and a smaller part. So, in that sense, consider yourself lucky.

For two weeks — a total of eight rehearsal days — you and Eliza stayed after school from 3:30 to 6 p.m. That’s a lot of concentrated practice time, especially for a half-hour musical. It was a big commitment for both of you, and of course for Mom, who worked side-by-side with the director she hired on behalf of the PTA. You missed soccer practices, and there were definitely some cranky days (and cranky rehearsals). Still, you stayed with it. Mom practiced lines with you and Eliza at night after rehearsals, helping you build confidence for showtime.

Finally, opening night arrived — a Thursday — kicking off your two-night run. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. The stage was modest, with a few backdrops to set the scene in the Hundred Acre Wood and props like honey pots scattered around. But once the curtain went up, I was blown away by what a couple dozen kids could pull off. You all had so many lines and carried the story forward between musical numbers. You were on stage a lot, had your lines down, and even helped other characters when they forgot theirs. Mom pitched in from the wings too, whispering cues when needed.

I’ll admit, I was a little nervous for you and Eliza to hit your marks — but you both commanded the stage with small voices and big courage. I sat there beside myself, enjoying every minute and marveling at how much you accomplished in such a short time.

The whole experience was too special not to buy the video recording for $30, so we can enjoy it for years to come. You might find it embarrassing someday to watch yourself as Piglet, but I promise that later in life you’ll appreciate seeing how you stepped up as Pooh’s loyal sidekick.

I don’t know if you’ll keep acting — especially once it’s optional and not the mandate of the PTA president who happens to be your mom — but I’m savoring this moment. As you head into your second and final performance tonight, I know you’ll be even more confident with those first-show jitters behind you. I hope you enjoy being on stage as much as the audience enjoys watching you.

There may be some collateral damage from this experience — from now on, it’ll be hard to see a pink Messi jersey without remembering your time under the bright lights.

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 119 Months Old

Dad has been doing some hard, physical things lately.

I just completed my second marathon of the year up in Bellingham. I chose that course for timing — to make sure my body was ready for the distance — and because it gave us the chance to see Aunt Nina, Uncle Jeff, and your cousins. Of course, I’ll always have a soft spot for Bellingham from my undergrad days at WWU. The marathon date conflicted with Aunt Nina’s “yoga spa retreat” (read: Mom getaway), but we still had time with the rest of the family, and you got all the cousin playtime.

Marathons are tough but achievable. I trained well for this one, adding weekly interval days at the track. My body held up consistently during the race, and while I didn’t push the pace too hard, I managed steady mile splits. I still hit a few walls — including some miles of high winds — but the scenery through the Lummi Reservation and north Bellingham was beautiful. Seeing Mom and Matteo around Mile 16 gave me the encouragement I needed, but the highlight was finishing with you and Matteo running at my side. And that sign you made — “Run like the person your dog thinks you are,” with Greta drawn so perfectly — absolutely nailed it.

Afterward, we went out for lunch, and I have to tell you: that burger and beer were the best I’ve ever had.

Just a few weeks earlier, I ran an epic thru-hike of The Enchantments — the same place Mom and I backpacked with friends about 12 years ago. It was one of Uncle Scott’s big ideas, and he did it last year himself. The Enchantments are breathtaking high alpine lakes, and the route is a true challenge. Our 19-mile trek took about nine hours, with 5,000 feet of climbing and 7,000 feet of descent. It felt like its own marathon, and I was proud to complete it.

I share both of these adventures because I want you and Matteo to see that you can do hard things. I also proved to myself that I can carry that kind of physical load while still showing up as a husband and dad. These challenges, though time-consuming, create the balance we all need to stay healthy in body and mind. Everyone finds their own version of that balance, and I know you’ll discover yours, too.

Our whole family has entered a busy season. You started 4th grade at Artondale Elementary, and between school and soccer practices twice a week, your days are full. Matteo has both soccer and baseball keeping him busy. Mom has stepped up as PTA president — and I think she’s as busy as any school administrator. On top of my own teaching load with two classes this fall, she’s launched teacher-support activities, started regular meetings with the principal, and even took and edited photos of all the teachers and students the first week — which had to be 12+ hours of work. I’m impressed with all she’s done already, and we’ve all needed to pitch in to support her new schedule.

So what do you do when life gets busy? Be intentional with your time. Get your exercise and your rest. Make sure you’re having fun — and call a “time out” when you’re not. And always remember: be the person your dog thinks you are.

Love,
Dad