Dear Matteo, 89 Months Old

You are legit the coolest young man I know.

Your use of "legit" is high volume these days. You legit want a certain Pokémon card. A friend at school has a legit crush on a girl. You legit don’t like music class.

I get the legitimacy of your word choice. The way you adopt slang at your age is so funny. It’s fast, and you shift keywords frequently. Sometimes you parrot my phrasing, but a lot of it comes from the bus and the older kids (up to 5th grade) you come across on the playground. You’re practicing your phrasing and tone, which happens to be a lifelong pursuit.

The other day, we were watching old videos from before you and Eliza were born, and your mom had a higher voice. I have claimed this before, but I don’t think she believed me until she watched them. I’m not sure if you kids wore out the sweetness of her higher pitch or if it just happens with age—likely both. As for diction, I have certainly adopted business phrases and jargon at work and probably cleaned up a lot of my casual slang for the sake of professionalism. Your mom and I read more than ever (and watch less TV), so I’d like to think we have more words at our disposal, or at least sharper minds to process them. Your vocabulary is growing because of reading and classroom time, too.

Now, if only you had enough words to process your big emotions. They still come and go, especially before bedtime or when you’re hungry. Or worse, both. You resort to slamming doors, throwing nearby objects, or stomping to express your anger or frustrations. It’s hard to cut through to you sometimes to let you know that we want to help or to reinforce how you did something wrong. Even our adult words fail us in those parenting moments.

Of course, this is just a phase, and the more you grow inside, the more you’ll find the words to let us know what’s wrong or how to make it better. Otherwise, and most of the time, you’re legit just having fun and enjoying the ride.

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 109 Months Old

We just came back from a fun vacation in Florida.

My travels started a little earlier as I got to attend the NYC Marathon for work and spent a few days in Manhattan. I was incredibly by all of the energy around the race, the people running it and the city cheering runners on. The day after the race I ran 10 miles because I was so hyped by what I saw. I am going to try training for longer runs to see if I can run a marathon one day.

I met you, Mom and Matteo in the Miami airport where our flights arrived. Matteo gave me the classic “run up” from the gate to give me a big hug. You and Mom were more casual, but I still think that you missed me as much. We took a Lyft to our Airbnb at Bay Harbor Islands where we spend the first few nights our trip. The condo was huge and had a nice little pool on the roof. We spent the days walking around the Jewish community and its shops. I think the highlight for you and Matteo was playing in the choppy surf at the beach.

I should mention that our flight date to Miami was Election Day, and we learned the next morning that Donald Trump will be our next president again. There was a stark contrast that I saw between the pre-election days in New York with a lot of Kamala Harris support and the MAGA celebration we saw around Miami. We saw people from all walks of life supporting Trump, which says a lot about how politics are shaped geographically as much as anything. That was illustrated by the group of Jewish teenage boys we saw at the ice cream shop with their rabbi, all wearing Trump hats as well as the young Latina women we saw shopping with similar red headwear.

We rented a car to drive to the Florida Keys for a long weekend. We drove the few hours down the keys to Tranquility Bay at Marathon. The Keys were more of a stripmall highway than I expected, but our resort was a slice of paradise. We stayed in a nice townhouse across from a huge pool, and had our own sheltered lagoon. The weather was perfect as was the pool temperature. We ate greate seafood at a couple of local restaurants, including one where we saw nurse sharks eating leftovers from the kitchen.

A highlight of the entire trip was a morning at Sombrero Beach. We heard from other visitors it was their favorite becah at the Keys, so we felt lucky it was nearby. The sand and water were perfect. We all swam and dove for shells, trying to find small treasures. An older gentleman was doing the same and gave us a good size conch shell that we brought home.

We drove one day down to famous Key West on probably the hottest day and cooled off in the shops and eating ice cream — and of course Cuban iced coffees for me and your Mom. I got to see Harry Truman’s Little Whie House and we coincidentally got to watch an off-shore boat racing competition when we got to the waterfront. Choppers were flying low behind the lead pack and flew past us on their 4-mile laps. That was a jam-packed today and a nice contrast to the slow pool days we gave oursleves most of the trip.

I have to give you credit for playing really well with us the whole trip. You made quick friends your age in the pool and played catch with me, Mom and Matteo to pass the time. Of course, you were deep into a book whenever you had the chance. I think you got the break that you also needed.

Our trip ended back in Miami for catalyst of this whole trip, which was a Reuters conference I spoke at for work. We stayed where the conference was, at the downtown Miami Hilton, which again gave us a pool option (your third pool!). The first night there, we took a car to Little Havana and ate some amazing Cuban food. A band started playing toward the end of our meal, and they were a little too loud for you. I loved the music but you covered your ears for the most part. That probably has less to do with what you think of the music and more the respective volume our ears can take.

Once the conference started, I was in the hotel ballrooms and you, Mom and Matteo took off for Miami Beach. Of course, I only heard about the beach second-hand but I know that you had a blast again playing in the waves. You had such a good time that when I saw you later in the day, you gave me a scowl face because you were disappointed that I didn’t go with you. Don’t worry about me. Kids should have more playtime anyway.

I’m not sure when we’ll be in Florida next because of the long flight time (6 hours!) compared to other destinations but I am thankful for the itinerary and the places that we got to enjoy. Most of all, I am grateful for our family time.

Love, Dad

Dear Matteo, 88 Months Old

We just wrapped Halloween, and this year was different in a few ways.

We got our decorations out on time but for some reason skipped the pumpkin path and never carved pumpkins. Clearly, we got our priorities wrong. We participated in your school’s “trunk or treat” but for us it was a “frunk or treat” with the Ford Lightning. Let’s be honest. Ninety percent of my motivation was about using the truck for this. Our theme was UW Huskies football and was a big hit for everyone except Cougars. 

As for Halloween day, rainy weather reduced the total number of trick or treaters compared to the last couple of dry years. The kids who braved the weather were soaked and spent extra time by the propane fire at our house to warm up.

The rain didn’t stop you. Last year, you were done trick or treating early after a half an hour as you were more interested in being home to greet kids at our house and watch the movie being projected on the garage door. This year, you joined your buddies Austin and Daniel to canvas the entire neighborhood, sprinting door to door. Eliza was the one who called it early, citing wet shoes and shivering in her angel costume.

As for the costumes, I thought we were on the same page about matching Harry Potter outfits, you as Harry and me as James Potter (Harry’s Dad). However, on game day you decided to dress as a blue ninja to match your buddies. I get it. I also called an audible to throw on the popular Spiderman costume to match your Mom, who took my Superman costume to be Superwoman.

For all your hard work, you earned an excellent haul of candy. We cut you off after downing the first 10 or 12 pieces to save for later. Of course, I ate some too. Your Mom really got after the candy earlier in the month and suggested that we soon need to get all candy all of the house before she eats it all. Sugar is a tough vice to shake.

You’re at the start of your peak Halloween years at age 7. Kids any younger just don’t have the legs for the neighborhood. I saw some nine-year-olds and older trick or treating solo, though I imagine we’ll hang with you into later ages because we like the walk as much as handing out candy. We had a share of teenagers come through in groups, and I hope you stay with it at least through junior high.

When you can grow a mustache, that’s a good signal to consider hanging up the candy basket.  Take it from the guy who wore a full bodysuit Spiderman costume.

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 108 Months Old

I am thrilled to say: Happy 9th birthday, Eliza Renee! I cannot believe we are in the last year of your single-digit age.

We skipped our Oktoberfest party this year (I predict a comeback) that served as your friends-and-family birthday party so you could enjoy a more classic birthday party with your friends. I debated wearing the lederhosen for your party but made the responsible choice. After a lot of debate with your Mom about the birthday party theme and activities, we settled on a party at our house a few days before your actual birthday with a series of art stations.

You had a gaggle of girlfriends over (no boys) and had a blast doing your favorite thing — using your imagination with endless art supplies available. To help keep the party girls-only, I took Matteo out to make stops around Gig Harbor and shopping at Metro Retro (his favorite Pokemon store in Tacoma). He was kind enough to pick out some cards for you as one of your birthday presents. We came back in time for dessert — a Trader Joe’s pumpkin sheet cake that your Mom and I are into — and present opening. I wish you could picture how you held court. With the gaggle surrounding you on the couch, you were sure to open every present deliberately, as if you were performing on stage, and made sure to look at and hold the hand of the person who gave you the present you just opened to express gratitude with sincere enthusiasm.

The morning of your birthday, I went out and got donuts in the morning so you could enjoy something sweet and get a song and candles before school started. You dressed in a very “older kid” style that included a light pink crewneck that said “Best Friends Club” and ripped jeans in a light wash. After school, Grandma Vicki, Nonno, Julie, Uncle Sergio and Riley came over for a small family celebration where you got to open a few more presents.

I convinced you before your birthday to encourage everyone to donate to a children’s hospital or animal shelter in lieu of presents. We simply have and get too many things. You embraced the idea and impressed everyone you told, especially adults. We raised some donations but the presents came anyway. The big hit came from Grandma Vicki who got you a perpetually sleeping, lifelike orange cat whose stomach raised and collapsed slightly emulating real breathing. You thought it was just so cute. After carrying it around a few days, we noticed it wasn’t working so well. I think Greta stepped on it when we left the fake cat and real dog in the car. You were devasted to see the subtle breathing replaced by a regular popping sound. Of course, we replaced the toy and you learned your lesson about leaving cats and dogs in small enclosed spaces.

As you’re now nine years old, we are also halfway through this letter-writing experience. Nine years or 108 months down, 108 months to go. These letters are intended to be one big gift to you and certainly the experience of writing to you has been an equal gift to me. Thanks for being such an amazing kid.

Love,
Dad

Dear Matteo, 87 Months Old

The gaming era has arrived.

Last year, I inherited a Wii from Uncle Scott that we gave you and Eliza for Christmas. You two enjoyed playing Mario Kart right away, but never caught the gaming bug from it. You’d play now and then when friends came over. Your Mom and I didn’t mind that because we’re not trying to glue you to the big screen either. You also get to play games on your Kindle Fire, which is immediately juvenile compared to other gaming systems, and we like the relative safety of that.

Over the summer, Uncle Sergio offered us an old Wii U — still more than a decade old — as he said that some of the games were better, and it came with a Nintendo Switch-like GamePad controller. We waited until the Fall months to give it to you and Eliza as a surprise. You jumped into Super Mario World and never looked back.

You and Eliza play the game together every day you can, usually after the school day. Mom will let you sneak in some gameplay on late start Wednesdays, too. Both of you are of equal skill and seem to take turns getting through the hard parts of levels. Because the game is such a hit, it’s also created a new punishment tool when you act out, taking away minutes or days of the game away. Fortunately we don’t have to do it too often. When we say time is up, you’re good at saving and stopping the game, knowing there’s always more to play tomorrow.

We have fun watching you play together. It’s the best part. You are the talker in the family, and there’s no exception here. You often say, “Eliza, Eliza, Eliza!” without anymore context and probably say her name 100x more a day when you’re gaming. It’s like the number or tone of saying her name explains everything in a level and the help you need from your sister. She seems to understand, only replying with the occasional, downbeat, “Muh-tay-oooo.”

Looking back at being your age, I played a lot of Nintendo systems up to Nintendo 64. I remember getting thumb blisters from playing too much. I also know that gaming helped me with problem solving and some other tech-comfort that later helped me with computing. Although I stopped gaming after college (basically beating Uncle Scott at Halo for four years), a lot of smart people I know still love gaming as an adult. We’ll see how much you continue to play. Our near-term parenting challenge is metering how much you play and what games and systems you play that are age appropriate. You’ve gotten a taste of the Oculus and other fully immersive VR sets. We’ll make sure you find the balance of virtual games and real-world games in fresh air.

Love,
Dad