Editor's note: Matt originally published this as a MySpace bulletin, and I just thought it was too funny not to publish here.

I would consider myself to be a fairly smart person who, for the most part, is centered and rarely a wild man. This afternoon, all of this was about to change. I headed out with my cousin into the wilderness of Cheney, WA.

We started on what we thought would be a great Sunday afternoon walk -- catching up on family gossip and having a few political and theological debates. Sounds pretty wild right? The weather was a cool 79 degrees when we started walking down a old railroad track that has been changed into a walking path about five miles outside of town. This path is so straight that you can see about three miles down before the earth curves and you lose sight of the distant tunnel. Anyway, about five miles down this path the sun starts to burn off the clouds, and the hot rays start to scorch our bodies. At about this time, we choose to turn around and head back the five miles we had traveled.

Being the smart persons we are, both of us forgot to bring any water or suntan lotion. The sun starts to bake and the temperature really spiked (to what I later found out was 92 degrees). About three miles later I almost threw up, and my body completely stops sweating, which, let me tell you, is a wonderful feeling when walking in the heat.

My cousin stated that his brain was no longer working and he would agree with almost any comment I would make if I would just stop talking. Long story short, when we made it back to the car my face, hands, and legs were burnt to a crisp. Tonight it is quite painful to move my arms or legs. We went to a Taco Bell and drank water so fast that, quite frankly, I was unsure where I was. I have never been so disorientated (except after heavy drinking of gin or Jack). The lesson learned is that the sun can hurt you and cause much pain. Also, water is very important and if you are in the heat too long bad things happen.

Finally, to get someone to agree with you radical right political positions you need to take them out into the heat for a 10 mile walk.