Dear Eliza, 88 Months Old

Last time I wrote you, we were hoping to get those loose front teeth moving out. So far, one down one to go. You got the first tooth out while watching a movie and gripping it with some toilet paper. For some odd reason you decided to finish the job inside a nearby cardboard box for some privacy. After a few short minutes, we heard a squeal and you emerged like a butterfly out of a coccoon. But instead of new wings, you had a new hole in your mouth.

The remaining tooth isn’t moving out so much as moving up. The new tooth is pushing your old tooth forward and nearly horizontal now. I’ve given it a couple good tugs, but we’re not near the finish line. I hope it happens soon for the sake of removing that small dagger of a tooth pointing out.

This week, we are back in one of your favorite places in the world: Palm Desert. We’re spending mid-winter break with Grams here. So far it’s been cool, not quite 70 degrees, but that didn’t stop you and Matteo from a first 4-hour pool day. The temps will get into the 70s starting today, and that will get me and your Mom in the pool, too. We’re used to warmer temps because we usually come down here on the shoulder seasons late March or October. We were supposed to be here in October but yours truly caught COVID, so this is our reschedule. We’re also not used to the Deep Canyon community being so busy. The seniors here are rarely in the pool but are always in the hot tubs.

The agenda here will be our usual jam: zoo trips, pool days, tennis (more like open batting cages at this age), and hiking up to the cross. I was ready for a family vacation again. It came at the cost of missing pajama day at school and we’ll have to agree to disagree that it was worth the trade off.

Love, Dad

Dear Matteo, 67 Months Old

In your most frustrated moments you like to say, “I have the worst ideas!” and “My ideas are always so bad.”

We all self-pout and doubt, and I’ll tell you here like I tell you in-person: you have a lot of great ideas, and it’s all about when and how you make them happen.

For example, suggesting that it’s time for dessert is a great idea, just not before dinnertime. Asking to build Legos or make a smoothie an hour past your bedtime are also poorly-timed, good ideas. Putting your fingers forcefully inside Luna’s mouth is never a good idea and that’s why you have bite marks. Sometime you have to take more than a hint.

Now let’s talk about some great ideas you’ve had lately.

You decided to play basketball and are a top player on the court at all times. Your Mom’s Hoosier vibes come out and she loves it. I have accepted that the basketball Saturday games conflict with ski season, or I keep telling myself that.

You decided to stop playing baseball despite your awesome eye-hand coordination and monster throwing arm, but I appreciate the early-in-life prioritization.

You want to ski higher and explore more of the mountain on our ski days. I love this! This past weekend, you and your sister skied more runs off the gondola than any other lift at Crystal Mountain, which means you can ski most of the resort now with regularly scheduled hot chocolate and food breaks.

I’ll help you continue to place your good ideas at the right place and time. In turn, I hope that you start to consider some of my ideas as good, too. That starts with going to bed on time. That’s always the best idea.

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 87 Months Old

Well, we had another incredible Christmas season. Your Mom and I are always a bit nervous about the presents, making sure the experienxe is fair as you're both atune to counting gifts like an accountant during tax season. There's so much anticipation for the big day, and as you and Matteo are fully competent at calendaring, you have a precise understanding of how soon Christmas will come. You two slept in on Christmas morning, leaving Mom and I surprised to have a quiet hour and coffee before the gift storm.

It's hard to describe how fun it is for us to watch the whole Christmas ordeal unwrap. It's arguably better than being on the receiving end as a kid. You come downstairs and see the tree and presents, mouth dropped and in shock despite the expectation. You got one of the bigger items this year, a make-up vanity for your room, which held the Santa presents: a Harry Potter snowy owl and a witch's cauldron. Matteo got a telescope from Santa, which is pretty awesome, but we also have a lot of trees around our house making it hard to get a good view of the sky. That will probably come in handy for longer nights this summer.

You and Matteo took your time this year, watching each other open up each present and breaking it open to play with it before you went on to the next. That pattern made for a couple hours worth of present opening time, a new record by a long shot and a trend that I hope keeps up the next few years.

In addition to your cauldron, which created a smoky, furry surprise after a multi-step spell, a big hit was a fashion design kit for dolls. Your Mom helped you with the sewing needles and material cutting to help you realize the designs in your head on doll mannequins. It's really fun to watch you in your medium. You spent hours for a couple days designing new doll dresses with layers and accessories.

Moving on from one magical event to another, you are in the driver’s seat to make the tooth fairy come anytime now. You have had two loose front teeth for several weeks and have been favoring them, biting with the side of your mouth to help those near-dead teeth hang on as long as they can by literal threads. Your Mom incentivized you with a tooth necklace so that wherever you lose your tooth, you can store it right away for safekeeping. All that's come of it so far is an empty tooth necklace.

When the time comes, you're hoping to see the tooth fairy and barter for fairy power instead of asking for money. You told us several times that you would like to specifically "get the power to fly," and "want all the very powers in the world, just not the tooth fairy ones" because, let's be honest, those aren't the most exciting.

First things first. We need to get those front teeth out. I realize that will change your look quite a bit, so I've taken a few photos recently to remember the last of your baby-teeth smile before the jack-o-lantern phase comes online. I'll miss the look, but onto the next one.

Love, Dad

Dear Matteo, 66 Months Old

Just when I thought I had everything figured out in this stage of parenting, you humbled me.

We’ve had a good start to the ski season, and you and Eliza have been stoked to learn and progress. After a couple consecutive days the week prior, Eliza needed a break, so you and I went up to the mountain for a “boys weekend” that I was excited about. Mom also had some fun plans for Eliza. Because you two are so close in age and twin-like interests, we rarely get you apart.

All was well at the beginning. We went out to dinner as a family, and then you and I drove up to the Chaffee cabin. You played with the boys for a couple hours and went to bed easily and on time. Double bonus. I spent the rest of the evening talking to Jim and Cassandra about travel, Andor on Disney+, and a disastorous Speaker of the House vote for the Republican party, in that order. I went to bed around 11 p.m.

At midnight, you woke up and crawled into bed with me. Not unusual. But then you started to breathe quickly and murmur about where Mom and Eliza were and how you can’t ski without Eliza. Then you complained about your ear hurting with some real tears. By then we were both fully awake. I tried to diagnose what was wrong. The remedy for any problem is “Mom” so I gave her a video call but she didn’t answer because her phone happened to be in Do Not Disturb mode (major fail!). We moved to different rooms around the cabin to help change your outlook, and you ate a satsuma. If Mom is unavailable, eating is usually a good Plan B. Despite those efforts you were still upset and communicated that you wanted to go home through more quick breaths, now two hours into the episode.

I was surprised because you have slept at this cabin many times since you were a baby. But you’re as a full grown kid now with growing feelings and increased awareness that things away from home and without Mom and sister are different. That seemed to hit you with the impact of a winter storm.

Running out of options and disappointed by my failed attempts to calm you down, I was able to give you a name for how you were feeling: homesick. That much helped. “Yes, I feel homesick” you replied with an ounce of relief.

But naming the problem didn’t change it. I was now looking down the barrel of time at 2:45 a.m. and, realizing that a ski day would not happen on this little sleep for either of us, packed up and hit the road home. It wasn’t an ideal time to drive but the night was warm so the roads were safe at least in terms of weather. You seemed to be more calm with every mile we drove. We zipped home through a freeway of green city lights, opened up the garage, surprised the hell out of your Mom, and went back to sleep in our own beds. I think I woke up at 10 a.m., still confused about what happened and feeling mixed on my decision to drive so late.

We will have more ski days (as luck would have it, we dodged a different problem because the day we were going to ski the main cabin bathrooms broke!) and more sleepovers at friends’ houses and cabins. Soon enough you’ll ask for those opportunities on your own and forget how uncomfortable you felt that transitory night. Like I told you so many times those late hours: Dad is here and everything will be OK.

Love,
Dad

Dear Eliza, 86 Months Old

Wash your hands. Take your vitamins. Do what must be done to help end this season of sickness.

The better part of the last two months — naturally coinciding with the school year — has knocked us out with a series of bugs, viruses, and infections. All the fun stuff.

A silver lining of the pandemic is that we got used to masks, social distancing, and other measures that kept us healthy for a streak of years. Now that we’re back to normal behaviors, we’re back to normal germ spreading and catching up sick days.

I got it first in a series of back-to-back COVID and seasonal flu. A couple of weeks later, the rest of the family took the hit. We thought you had a stomach flu after some early-morning vomiting on our bedroom carpet. The cat joined in by coughing up a hairball nearby. Nice. It turns out you and Matteo both contracted strep, surely through one of your friends at school as Matteo was already home for days dealing with a crunchy cough. Then your Mom contracted COVID at the exact same time but not strep. Along the way, Matteo got a double ear infection and could hardly hear for more than a week and responded to most conversations or questions with, “WHAT?!”

Somehow I didn’t have any illness but became the family driver between doctor visits and phamarcy resupplies. We encouraged you to “smash” the liquid antibiotics to get beyond the undesired flavor. College Greek systems have proven the method to be effective with other liquids.

You both do a pretty good job at being sick because it means a lot of screen time, which you don’t mind. You also kept the Christmas spirit alive, focusing a lot on our household elves, Elfie and Tinsel, who move around our house at night. Every morning you wake up to hunt for them and beat Matteo to finding out where they wound up. Then you proclaim your win and get on with the rest of your day. It’s not quite the holiday spirit, but close enough.

I think you’re going to have a great Christmas season ahead, and I’m glad we’re all feeling a lot better so we can enjoy it. Less medicine, more merry.

Love, Dad