The ladies at work and I were discussing annoying bathroom habits of our significant others, and one of them brought up how much she hates her fiance making a mess shaving.
"The hair goes everywhere," she said. "You can't stop it. Just when you think you have it cleaned up, you find another hair. It's endless."
Take that and the likelihood that shaving long hairs will contribute to drain cloggage and you've got a bathroom nightmare that may threaten the very relationship that you shave for. In a culture and time period when women expect ample manscaping, things need to keep tidy around the body and the bathroom.
We're only going to be talking about face shaving in this conversation, but you can imagine how this conversation can evolve. (See the Knocked Up clip, NSFW).
When I explained the following to the girls about my hygienic shaving preparations, one of them said I set up like Dexter does before a kill, and it's totally true, so I'm going to call this one the "Dexter Method."
Step 1. Remove all bathroom items (soap, deodorant, toothbrush, etc.) within arm's length away from the shaving area. This should be just about everything.
Step 2. Take paper towels or plastic wrap (hence the Dexter reference) and cover all parts of the sink and perimeter counter space. This will ease your clean-up and save your drains from excess hair disposal.
Step 3. Lean in and shave. Use the sink as appropriate, but don't let too much of the hair exit via the drain.
Step 4. After the conclusion of shaving, step away from the mirror. Give your eyes a rest for a minute and return to make sure you've shaven as you'd liked. Often you can make an additional mess by touching up after you've cleaned, undermining your previous efforts.
Step 5. You should be finished shaving, including taking care of any bleeders, and ready for clean up. Take your paper towels or plastic wrap and pull it up in such a way that you don't lose your shavings. Dispose of this in your lined trash bin. Run the sink to drain the remaining shavings.
Step 6. Take a wet cleaning wipe and completely wipe down the sink and surrounding counter. Look at the floor and do the same.
Step 7. This one is key. Use a dry rag and wipe down the area again. Your significant other may walk into the bathroom shortly following your shaving and although the space is clean, you also don't want it to look like a tsunami crashed in your bathroom.
Step 8. Look at yourself in the mirror again. You look good. You know, she'll know it.
Now, do I do this all the time? No, but knowing is half the battle. It's also the reason why I have a beard half the year - this is a lot of work.
Back to my popular culture reference, Dexter prepares and sanitizes his kill location meticulously so as not to get caught and keep his image up. Think like Dexter: Hack away, but clean up after yourself.
